When I left my job almost nine months ago, I had no idea how much growth and love was awaiting me. I was struggling with acute stress, anxiety, and for the first time in my life: depression. Everything was cloudy and uncertain. All l knew during this time was that the life I was living was not for me. I knew I was unfulfilled but not sure what would fill me, I knew I was unhappy but forgot what made me smile. I was missing a clear picture of where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be. As someone who has always had a plan, this was uncomfortable and frightening. I found myself feeling utterly lost and in a frantic quest, searching for a destination, a light to focus on. Anything that could pull me out of this mess.
Not surprisingly, this fear of the unknown fueled desperate energy for answers and without warning I found myself heading in a downward spiral made of quicksand. As the summer came to an end, I was smacked down on the floor at my rock bottom. I was out of ideas and energy. It’s hard to admit now but in the darker moments, I was losing hope I would ever find my light.
Ironically, this hopelessness led me to take the first productive step towards my current path: I surrendered. I stopped fighting and permitted myself to just be. As I was. In the present moment. It was not easy in the beginning. I had no idea what any of it meant but frankly, I did not see any other way. I adapted to this slower pace reluctantly, but in time, I made a conscious decision to simply follow my curiosity and do what felt good.
I started reading books on Personal Development and Spirituality and reawakened my love of learning. I went back to meditation classes, received my certification in level 1 Reiki and with a new sense of wonder, I committed to better understanding myself and my brain. I was interested in understanding the psychology behind why we do what we do. This inquisitiveness led me to enrol at the Centre of Applied Neuroscience where I am currently in a month in an 8-month Life Coaching Certification program focusing on principles of psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness and yoga. Somewhere along the way, all these subtle shifts added up and I began to feel lighter. A guide towards my dreams to live an energized and peaceful existence in alignment.
This is not a post of before and after. My destination is to continue along this path for all my life, to always be open to change and growth. Finding my voice so that I can be of service in a way that inspires others to awaken their truth. I want to walk with those who are looking to create positive shifts that ripple and increase the vibration of the collective.
I have come to understand that there is no formula for healing. Like a fingerprint, everyone’s journey is unique, and it is certainly not linear. It is an intuitive process and when we remove the pressure, avoid the temptation to compare, embrace the messiness of being human, we might enjoy the mystery of it all. For anyone on this journey, whether the path seems clear or still blurry, I’m here to remind you that the light is within you and sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to feel our brightness.