I left your spaceship No longer your captive I’m a drifting star on my way to better Making home on other planets.
The stars will catch me And we will dance in constellation as I forget to connect dots of the spell you had me under.
You can tempt with your coyness Your sly glance is crafty and alluring But im not interested I used to see the galaxy in your every step Your eyes used to reflect the universe and your touch sent shivers into my dreams of cosmos and false belief that you were my partner in this space exploration
The truth hit like an asteroid that I’m a futuristic creature you weren’t brave enough to discover
It’s okay The new moon is approaching You too will dance in a meteor shower No longer your captive my blood is a crashing tidal wave against the cliff you carelessly hung me from
But I didn’t fall Inhaling the truth and beauty ofmy eternal light I floated into space you don’t see
In a world where we can tweak and filter the way we present to the world; it can be tempting to create a picture-perfect image. But is it not the weird, awkward, mad and silly parts of ourselves that make us human? If yes, then why do so many of us hide these qualities in shame? Being vulnerable takes courage but what if living life WHOLEHEARTEDLY and authentic is what leads to a life fully lived. A life filled with love and a meaningful connection. Being vulnerable is to embrace the FULLNESS of our being. Because, honey, if you are hiding your “darkness”, you are also hiding your light. Enjoy the awkwardness life offers. I’m here to remind you that your story is worth sharing and that your madness is what makes you beautiful. Vulnerability need not be feared, it is refreshing, satisfying and to put it bluntly, the alternative is a life in hiding which is no good for any of us. Share your gifts. Celebrate when you witness others sharing theirs. Confidently, share your weirdness with the world cuz damn, you fine! ?????
When I left my job almost nine months ago, I had no idea how much growth and love was awaiting me. I was struggling with acute stress, anxiety, and for the first time in my life: depression. Everything was cloudy and uncertain. All l knew during this time was that the life I was living was not for me. I knew I was unfulfilled but not sure what would fill me, I knew I was unhappy but forgot what made me smile. I was missing a clear picture of where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be. As someone who has always had a plan, this was uncomfortable and frightening. I found myself feeling utterly lost and in a frantic quest, searching for a destination, a light to focus on. Anything that could pull me out of this mess. Not surprisingly, this fear of the unknown fueled desperate energy for answers and without warning I found myself heading in a downward spiral made of quicksand. As the summer came to an end, I was smacked down on the floor at my rock bottom. I was out of ideas and energy. It’s hard to admit now but in the darker moments, I was losing hope I would ever find my light.
Ironically, this hopelessness led me to take the first productive step towards my current path: I surrendered. I stopped fighting and permitted myself to just be. As I was. In the present moment. It was not easy in the beginning. I had no idea what any of it meant but frankly, I did not see any other way. I adapted to this slower pace reluctantly, but in time, I made a conscious decision to simply follow my curiosity and do what felt good. I started reading books on Personal Development and Spirituality and reawakened my love of learning. I went back to meditation classes, received my certification in level 1 Reiki and with a new sense of wonder, I committed to better understanding myself and my brain. I was interested in understanding the psychology behind why we do what we do. This inquisitiveness led me to enrol at the Centre of Applied Neuroscience where I am currently in a month in an 8-month Life Coaching Certification program focusing on principles of psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness and yoga. Somewhere along the way, all these subtle shifts added up and I began to feel lighter. A guide towards my dreams to live an energized and peaceful existence in alignment.
This is not a post of before and after. My destination is to continue along this path for all my life, to always be open to change and growth. Finding my voice so that I can be of service in a way that inspires others to awaken their truth. I want to walk with those who are looking to create positive shifts that ripple and increase the vibration of the collective. I have come to understand that there is no formula for healing. Like a fingerprint, everyone’s journey is unique, and it is certainly not linear. It is an intuitive process and when we remove the pressure, avoid the temptation to compare, embrace the messiness of being human, we might enjoy the mystery of it all. For anyone on this journey, whether the path seems clear or still blurry, I’m here to remind you that the light is within you and sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to feel our brightness.
I’m writing in the hopes that I will release the answer to questions that are taking up too much space in my head. Like many of us, I spent the end of 2019 thinking of all the ways that I was going to make this decade the best ever. So excited to have this fresh start, I was inspired by all the things I was going to accomplish in the next 10 years. 2020 was going to be the year I put together all my experience and passions into a career that gave me freedom and was in alignment with my desire to make a positive difference in peoples’ lives. It was like a rotating energy wheel and since I was out of work, I was able to do a lot of daydreaming which just made that wheel spin faster.
One of the things that kept coming up was the desire to make a YouTube channel. I was spending most of my free time reading books by spiritual leaders, quantum physics, and business development. I wanted to share. I wanted to discuss, dissect, pick apart, and in turn, go deeper. Making a YouTube channel around theses subject seemed like the perfect choice. Making videos has always been a creative outlet for me and I’ve always loved being in front of the camera, mix in my favorite subjects to talk about and it felt like a dream way to spend my days.
Well, I was right. As soon as the idea was no longer something I could ignore, I put together a trailer and told the world about it. I felt so vulnerable, putting myself on display like that. But it felt so awesome at the same time. I was instantly hooked. I made a schedule for scriptwriting, filming, and lived with a photographer and video editor that answered all my silly questions pertaining to light, sound, and editing confusions.
January was the launch. I returned to Rajaj Yoga and was taking meditation classes, completed my level 1 Reiki, I felt right on track.
February was learning that talking in front of a camera, alone, is not as easy as it looks. Struggles with perfectionism kept creeping up and I was refilming the same line dozens of times which obviously made it feel inauthentic. “Maybe this YouTube thing isn’t for me?“
March, without warning through me off my feet. I was faced with some pretty hard truths and important decisions to make in a very short amount of time. The world went into lockdown and I had no choice but to be alone in my apartment. I fought this at first, trying to figure out ways I could go back to Toronto, have a friend move in, anything not to be completely alone. it quickly became clear that this is where I was supposed to be so I surrendered and let go. This was a very powerful month for me. I learned about my insecurities, triggers, and massive sized self-doubt energy that is holding me back.
Present-day, April the 27th:
The last two months have gifted me with so much time to reflect and learn how to be more at peace with the stillness of the world. Now at the other side of all the chaos and pain, I feel lighter. I received a slip from the universe ” Take it slow, Serena.” I enrolled in an 8-month intensive life coaching course that focuses on the principles of neuroscience, psychology, mindfulness, and yoga. By developing self-awareness through these principles, the website states that I will be able to transfer the knowledge into practical tools to help guide others on a personal development journey. You can see why I so eagerly enrolled. I’m currently going into week four and I’m absolutely LOVING it. Last week, we were told that as part of the program, there is an Independent Study Project that has to be worked on throughout the course. The purpose is to explore a topic in great detail and prepare a 15-minute presentation at the end of the course. It didn’t take long to decide that this was an opportunity to explore this imposter syndrome, the study of the shadow, and serve as the push I needed to give the YouTube channel life again.
So here we are. What happened to my YouTube channel? I really have not stopped. Behind the scenes, I’m here every day, still gathering the knowledge and tools to heal so I can help you too. I have not gone anywhere. I am only enjoying this journey and responding to what calls me. What feels valuable and right now I’m exploring what that is for me. If I am going to be a life coach at the end of this, what is my message? Who is my client? What is my approach and how can my story help others? This my next challenge and a journey I invite you all to take with me. I want to share the good, the progress, the victories big or small, but I also want to share the struggles, the things I still need to work through that I may not even know about yet and especially the moments where I hide, where the shadow and self-doubt attempt to take over. This is a raw and open look at my process to a goal still so enormous feeling but I need to accomplish. I will share and document the journey here as sharing in the video begins to take momentum.
Here in Canada, we are about 33 days into quarantine. If you’re anything like me, you may feel like you’ve experienced every emotion imaginable this past month. Some days I feel I’ve adapted quickly to this new, slow life but others, finding motivation is impossible and thinking of all those that are suffering is hard to deal with. The internet has certainly helped to feel connected and entertained. It’s awesome to see friends and family sharing what they are up to. Whether it’s cooking bread, learning new skills, expressing with art, even all the Tik Tok uploads has opened my eyes to how much talent and resilience we all have through this worldwide pause. Companies, organizations, events are quickly adapting their services to the virtual space at large discounts or even free. It is a reminder that we are all in this together and this small sacrifice for those more vulnerable, is an opportunity to go inwards, grow and even learn something new to share.
I concentrated on creative events and attractions as well as spiritual and wellness spaces. I will keep this list as updated as possible and invite you to reach out if there is anything you feel should be on this list.
Fitness
Fitness classes to wellness challenges, here are my top finds to keep you moving and stay clear from the quarantine- fifteen.
The fit, vegan and loveable couple behind this studio is offering their classes FREE on Zoom. From Pole Dance Fit to Martial Arts Form, join the fun with Nikita and Sara. I took pole fit classes with Sara last year and her teaching style is fun and inspiring. Bonus: They have the cutest dog, named Tofu, who is sure to make a cameo and will make you smile. Guaranteed!
The schedule changes weekly so its best to join the Facebook group here. By now, I’m sure we all know how to use zoom. You can join a meeting with this code 6853183384.
If traditional workouts bore you, I feel you. In the fall, I went to a Wiggle Room in Montreal, which is a Burlesque bar and was so inspired by the confidence and sass of the dancers, I enrolled in classes at Arabesque Burlesque. It was the most fun I’ve ever had and the most intense workout while also feeling sexy. Sounds impossible but I dare you to tell you I’m wrong. Josephine is giving burlesque fitness classes live online every night at 6:30 pm EST Monday-= Saturday until the 3rd week in April. Classes are only $10. Much less than they are normally. Find out all the info here
Leisure/ Attractions
It is still possible to enjoy these attractions. Go on a virtual trip and enjoy!
I couldn’t believe this when I first read it. The National Theatre in London is broadcasting a play every Thursday on its YouTube channel, at 2 p.m. Eastern for FREE. I encourage you to get dressed up and enjoy the show. You can see the full schedule here
I know a lot of us are not huge fans of zoos or aquariums. Especially now, but this is a non- profit organization that does a lot of education and awareness programs on climate change and ocean pollution. You can tune into the live cams of sea otters, sharks, penguins, oh my!
New Skills
Coming out of quarantine with a new skill is pretty ideal and so many companies are helping make that possible.
Normally $17 dollars a month, these guys re offering free Level 1 Piano lessons until September 1st. I will certainly be taking advantage and channeling my inner Alicia Keys. Link to signup is here
Subscription is normally $12 but currently Rosetta Stone is offering three months of free access to students.
DuoLingo
For those of us who are done school but still want to learn a new language, Duolingo is always free and a fantastic app to learn with gamified activities.
Want to learn to draw, the fundamentals of design or just how to take awesome photos? Skillshare is a hub for creatives to learn and share skills. Right now, they are offering 2 months free and the classes are endless.
Mental Health
Isolation, lack of routine and structure and the uncertainty that is surrounding us all right now can take it’s toll and more than ever, it’s important to keep our mental health in check.
For those that don’t already know, I’m currently studying at the Centre of Applied Neuroscience in their Life Coach Certification program. This centre has been pivotal in my own journey of healing and in response to COVID-19, they have implemented a series of free Online Community Clubs. If you are looking to learn, discuss or just feel support, there is sure to be a club you will enjoy. You can check out all the info and register here
Starting April 27th, Univerity of Toronto is offering this course for free to gain a deeper understanding of the anxiety surrounding this new way of life and strategies to manage the stress to gain control over our emotions. All the info to register is here
I know many universities are currently offering free courses and I’ve linked several at the end of this post.
Holistic Psychotherapy
If you feel you need more one on one support, my friend Laurita, who is both a psychotherapist and Feminine Embodiment Coach is working with clients online via video as well as workshops on anxiety, the nervous system, relationships as well as leading classes such as yoga, breathwork and meditation.
I’m not sure if this is due to the pandemic, but to say you spent the isolation studying at Harvard sounds pretty cool. I have not personally enrolled in any classes yet but from a quick search, it seems they have quite of variety of options. Head over to the site for more info, smartie pants!
Coursera
Normally around $50, Coursera is offering certificate courses for through May. Courses are from top universities like Yale and Standford and leading companies such as Google.
Career Hunting during isolation is quite challenging but the Youth Employment Centre is offering all their workshops online.
Using this opportunity to build your own business? YES is also offering their entrepreneurship workshops which normally cost about $20 each for free of charge for the month of April.
My spiritualjourney began at age 14 with Raja Yoga, a path of yoga primarily concentrating on meditation. This year, I decided to return and take the classes again through the Centre D”Emergence here in Montreal. I cannot speak highly enough of this meditation and philosophy and right now The center is offering the classes on their YouTube channel. Classes for Level 1 are at 7 pm live every Friday until May 1st. The first class was last Friday but you catch a recording here.
Humanity at a Crossroads
This is a 3-hour interactive workshop hosted by award-winning author & channel Paul Selig. The class will include Q&A sessions where you can submit written questions in advance or ask their questions live via voice during the class.
Paul Selig and his Guides will lead you on a journey of self-development, at once building awareness of your own life purpose and building your ability to improve life for others.
It is a pay-what-you-can and you can register on Eventbrite here
Events
One World: Together At Home April 18
Global Citizen is hosting a global broadcast & virtual concert to support frontline healthcare workers and the WHO. It is completely free thanks to pre-organized donations and will feature artists such as Alicia Keys, Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Stevie Wonder and many, many more. Click here to learn more and take the pledge to stay home.
** Global Citizen is a movement of engaged citizens who are using their collective voice to end extreme poverty by 2030. **
Science and Spirituality Worldwide Conference June 12-19
Originally planned to be held in Ottawa, this event featuring leaders and visionaries in spirituality, science, healing, and consciousness s now a global LIVESTREAMING Event and is 70% off. Check out the full schedule and information here
Cabin Fever Events
Cabin Fever Events is creating community and inclusive space through this pandemic by assisting through fun activities (online) such as poetry reads, house parties, discussion groups
That’s it for now folks! I will update this as much as possible and hope you are staying safe and healthy. I’m so happy and grateful for all the ways we can stay connected. We are social creatures and it’s normal to feel strange when that is suddenly but rushing through our days and packed schedules had become our normal and sometimes the most productive thing we can do is be still. Introspection through meditation, a walk in the park without headphones or dare I suggest it, a break from the screen for a day is something we all have time for now. I believe that is what will make us stronger on the other side of this.
Love and light.
My thoughts, prayers, and love to everyone through this challenging time and rest in peace to all the souls who passed away from the virus
This feeling is strange but I quickly get comfortable.
New friends named Self- Esteem and Confidence join me while old ones, Despair and Lost slip away
Slowly, feeling happy feels natural.
Filled with energy and excitement, I realize I’m on a journey of healing.
This path is filled with brightness and warm sun
there is a stream that sparkles with light
It smells sweet and is filled with colour
I want to scream from the mountain tops with this new knowledge that I’m not broken, I’m normal again, world!
I begin enjoying my favourite things.
I actually want to go out
I want to help others
I enrol in programs of healing
Reiki.
Neuroscience
Yoga
Learn about Chakras and how to ground unbalanced emotions
Regain faith and go back to classes of Spirituality
And then, without notice, there is sudden pain
I’m in shock and the light on this new path goes dark.
I cant see and I’m scared.
Where do I go?
I can’t possibly be going backwards
I fight with all my strength to find the path of beauty
but it feels hopeless,
And then I hear a whisper
“It’s okay,” it says “You are still on the right path. “
Confused, I reply, ” Thank you but I don’t understand how this could possibly be part of the same path. You see, I’m on a journey of healing”
” I understand” the whisper replied “But I promise you it is, and although you may not see it, you are stronger than before and will get through this pain. It’s temporary, my love. And when you find the light you’ll begin to trust yourself again. You’ll be proud that you made it through. The journey of healing is not linear. You will most likely come across another part in the journey that doesn’t seem as bright but every time you arrive in a shadow of happiness, your visits will be shorter and shorter. You will learn how to let it happen without attachment. To flow through you without getting stuck. The secret is not getting too comfortable there. The brighter paths will become brighter and brighter. You will become stronger and stronger. You are healing every day and filled with healing intentions that will help others. Trust the path, it’s leading you there”
I feel calm. I may still feel unsure but I feel safe. “Who are you, Whisper?” A spirit guide, guru, a fairy?”
The whisper chuckles ” Sure, I can be all those things but truthfully I’m just you. Your intuition, your gut and your truth. You are a child of the universe and have all the answers within the galaxy of your mind. One day you will understand your true form, that you are a Goddess of light. Your star soul will always be with you, guiding you and you will guide others. Healing is not linear.
Going back to Raja Yoga Meditation classes after 15 years
For those that follow me on Instagram. I’ve been pretty candid as of late about my journey with mental illness and my determination to break free, rewire the subconscious thoughts that were holding me back and live a life in alignment with my dreams. This journey of healing has been a roller coaster of ups and downs but ultimately accepting the ride and going with the flow has made this journey the most healing time of my life, yet!
As I prepare to launch my YouTube channel and share the tools and lessons that have been working for me to create change, I’ve noticed the anxiety around expectations of both myself and how others will receive this raw and open content.
I made an intention this year to practice meditation every single day. I came to believe that daily practice was extremely important but every time I went to mediate, the to-do list and worries about my dreams and goals went into high gear.
I know something had to change and quick, we were already one week into the first month of the new decade and I was feeling let down by not being truthful to this new goal. What was holding me back from letting go during meditation? I decided to let it go and rest. That is when the divine universe interrupted me and I remembered the very thing that created drastic change in my life and perspective almost 15 years ago: Raja Yoga.
I immediately went on a search frenzy on Google and was delighted to find a centre so close to my house with a new semester of classes starting the next day. Coincidence? Of course, not.
I called, enrolled and jumped for joy within 5 minutes.
This past Friday was the first class and as soon as I walked in the doors I knew this was the beginning of yet another level to my healding.
For those of you that don’t know, Raja Yoga is a type of meditation with the goal is self-control and discipline. This is done by regularly observing thoughts without getting involved. Simply observing so that you can change them to more positive and energetic thoughts.
In class one we learned all about how to increase the positive thoughts by being mindful in day to day activities. For example, when we are enjoying a meal: there are 4 different thanks yous we can offer
Thank you to all the farmers who planted this good
Those who delivered the food to the grocery store where I purchased
Those who prepared the food. If I prepared it, thank you for all the kitchen and place to do so
Thank you to my body for accepting this food and nourished fuels my body and provides me with energy to live.
Relatively simple right, but this gratitude can be extremely powerful with consistency. It increases the positive energy, and types of thoughts.
Another important element of Raja Yoga that differs from any other meditation practice is keeping your eyes opened. The idea here to teach the brain to be able to access this relaxed state at any time of the day and not separating it. This has been very powerful for me and made it easier to implement in my life because it erases any obstacle that may be preventing you from meditating.
I’m happy to report that since Friday, I have meditated daily for over 30 minutes. I’m enjoying this time again and can’t wait to learn more during this course. There is so much more to learn but it feels so great and aligned going back to where it all began for me.
If you are interested in learning more about Raja Yoga, L’Emergence Brahama Kumaris Centre in Montreal is starting their next session of courses in April.
Changing the way I look at healing in order to actually heal
I like to think of myself as a generally happy and open person but this summer my emotions were put to the ultimate test. I’ve been sad, anxious, depressed and hopeless. These are feelings and emotions I no longer thought existed within me. Traumatic events I had worked on and believed I had healed from. But these last few months have made it clear to me that although I have learned a lot so far, I still have a lot of work to do. To be frank, I was pissed about that at first. Disappointed and embarrassed that I call my self a dreamer while I have been living in a nightmare.
How can I call myself a healer if I’m not healed? How can I preach how we can grow if I’m crying myself to sleep? So many questions that led me feeling guilty and ashamed. Why am I even here? Why bother sharing such a dark and bleak moment of my life with the internet? Because It’s real. And when I decided to start this blog I promised you (and myself) to be raw and candid. Though the last few months have been some of the scariest of my life, there are lessons to share. That waiting to share wisdom from a healed and happy place will not allow me to relate to the people this type of post is intended for. That life is happening right now. That I’m a work in progress, and that’s okay.
Social media can make us believe that healing is taking a yoga class, meditating with crystals or having wine and a bubble bath on a Sunday evening. Sure, these things can help us move through the pain, but real healing isn’t that pretty.
It’s crying. A lot. In the shower, as I go to sleep. Without warning. It’s always having sunglasses in case I’m in public.
It’s isolating myself from family and friends but struggling with feeling lonely.
It is not recognizing myself in the mirror. I moved from sadness to anger and felt a rage I never knew existed within me. Discovering the ugly parts of myself has been the most challenging so far.
It’s feeling detached and empty and numb.
And most importantly, it’s not linear.
Although I believe healing looks different for everyone, my hope in sharing this is that you will recognize the moments of growth within yourself. I’ve surrendered my beliefs about what it means to heal. That it isn’t a beautifully wrapped gift waiting for you. You have to dig for it. Sometimes really deep. That it will pass and the kinder and gentler we are with it, the smoother it will flow. Let’s agree to stop comparing our journey to others. and genuinely understand that struggling is not failing. Accept it without judgement. Take control and let it go.
For me, that has been accepting that I’m more of a work in progress. And that’s okay. I’m allowed to answer the call to help others suffering from anxiety while I too am trying to navigate my way out through this. As we strip away the expectation of what healing should feel like and take a seat in this disturbed and royally uncomfortable phase, we remember to carry the wisdom that it is temporary. That on the other side of this pain is a feast of strength we can all indulge in.
The science behind the power of gratitude and how to incorporate it in your life starting today
Can the key to happiness be found in something as simple as saying Thank-you? Turns out, yes! It is said that we as humans can get in a state called the hedonic treadmill. This is the tendency to consistently be in the same level of happiness despite any major positive or negative shifts. What this means is that we end up taking things for granted and ignoring what makes us happy. It may sound super airy-fairy but I firmly believe that gratitude has been more effective than medication in my journey of mental health and well-being. In fact, research shows that the simple act observing what we are grateful for actually rewires our brains. Similar to antidepressants, it kickstarts the production of dopamine and serotonin. These feel-good neurotransmitters activate the joyful centre of our brains which, in turn, increases happiness and contentment.
Despite the importance and proof of increased joy by adding this to our daily routine, I found it challenging at first. This is why it is so important for me to share this with you today. Like drugs, I believe struggle and despair can sometimes be addictive. I know that for me, there were times when being depressed felt easier than being happy. It often felt like being happy required too much work which led to feeling overwhelmed and anxious. A vicious circle that I was able to finally break when I started saying thank-you more. Through the habit of being grateful for what I already have, I made space for more things to enter my life to be grateful for.
The best part of all this for me has been discovering that the magic behind gratitude does not end with increased happiness and decreased depression. There are several side effects, or miracles rather, that will be so addictive and enchanting, it becomes habitual rather instantly, such as:
Increased resilience
Lower blood pressure
Decreased chronic pain
Increased energy
Higher self-esteem
Better sleep
Longer life
I believe that gratitude in itself is the highest expression of faith. Yes, the science is there to back it up but simply put, gratitude draws us closer to source and gives gasoline to our ability to manifest. When we are grateful, we are telling the universe that everything is working out and more things can enter our lives. This means being grateful for the things that you don’t have. Since every action has an opposite and equal reaction, we attract more to be grateful for. I would even encourage you to go one step closer and be grateful for the things that may not seem so great. I personally believe that there are no coincidences in life and that everything happens for a reason. When we appreciate the not so great things in addition to the beauty in our lives, we are surrendering and trusting that it is all leading us to our higher selves.
As said by an American Author, John C Maxwell “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your daily routine.” So let’s go over the simple ways to add gratitude to your life today.
Journal
For me, I started with journaling.I write three things which I am grateful for each day. Rather quickly after implementing this, I began actively looking for things to journal throughout my day. Akin to an intense spring clean, I was decluttering my mind. As science has proven, I was training my efrontal cortex to appreciate the delights and positive elements of life and discard of the negative thoughts.
Carry a gratitude rock
If you have watched the secret, you may remember the gratitude rock as explained by Business and Family Coach, Lee Brower. The idea is that he kept a rock in his pocket every day and before retiring for bed each night, he would empty his pocket and the rock reminded him to take a quick mental note of what he was grateful for that day. Now, it does have to be rock, you can carry anything with you that you will interact with everyday and that will serve as a nudge to say thankyou.
Tell someone
No matter what your daily gratitude list includes, you can always trace it back to the person responsible for bringing this into your life. Maybe it’s the person who gave you a physical gift or just thw way a situation turned out thanks to the way someone handled things. For me, this is often my incredible partner who is always supportive during times of anxiety and depression. So tell them! Call, write a letter, send a text or better yet, invite them to dinner and tell them in person. I guarantee that sharing your appreciation will make their day. It will put them in a better mood and ripple as they interact with others throughout their day, eventually changing lives.
Smile
Smiling and acknowledging people you interact with throughout the day is the easiest way to express gratitude. It not only ignites happiness, hope and positivity within yourself but to everyone who sees it. For only one day, I challenge you to smile to everyone you see and you will understand just how much impact this has.
When you smile, you are sending a message to those around you that you are accepted, you are welcome and all is well.
Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis. “The Power of a Smile.” HuffPost, 14 May 2014)
Meditate
As always, I’m including meditation. I don’t think I need to explain the benefits and rewards this adds to our well being. You have all heard it a million times, if not more. Meditation is instrumental in all aspects of well being. If you are finding it difficult to find time to write your gratitude down, add an extra minute to the end of your meditation session to say, out loud, three things that you are grateful for. You won’t regret it.
So there you have it, the power of gratitude has to change your life, the science behind it and easy ways you can start adding it to your routine today to make you happier, more positive and healthy. Being happy takes work but being grateful is so fun, that it’s actually really easy. Even taking the time to be grateful for the not so great things clears our minds and makes space for more good things to enter our lives. List your thank yous, create symbols to remind yourself, spread your gratitude towards others and they will want to spend more time with you and simply smile and mediate to implement this practice in your daily life and notice how your life changes.
I hope you enjoyed this article and found it helpful, don’t forget to subscribe and follow me on Instagram for more tips and posts about mental health, personal development and how to align, energize and manifest with the life of our dreams
A perfectionist writing a post about perfectionism? Interesting
Nevertheless, here I am. I will press publish. In fact, as this is my first post on my blog, you are, in a way reading a piece that has taken over two years to write. As you will understand at the end of this entry, It’s not something I’m proud of. Just the fact that you are reading this is enough for me and if you don’t like it, well, that’s okay. Ironically, it’s perfect.
So, why do I want to share my journey of this really negative and scary part of my self? Something that has held me back countless times in life? Because, for the first time in a long time, I fell free. Free from the chase to something utterly unattainable. Let’s break it down.
What perfectionism looked like for me. The ugly truth
Despite the cunning nature of perfectionism, it plays the opposite quite well. Disguising as a teacher or higher intelligence, the voices echoed thoughts that made me feel my best interests were at heart. This could not be further from the truth. It was only when I began to fully understand the danger and negative impact this was having on my success in life that I began to heal. Separating myself and grasping the full extent of this evil and wicked stranger, helped me see perfection for what it really is and the danger I was in if I did not change.
Paralyzed with hyper criticism
Perfectionism paralyzed me from living my dreams. I often found myself living in a place of hyper-criticism of the world around me.Like clockwork, every time I had an idea, developed an interest in a sport or craft outside my comfort zone, travelled, or even began a new job, perfection would take control and progress became stagnant.
Ridiculously high expectations: Too many choices paired with an incredible guilty conscience
Having such high expectations for myself is how perfectionism gained control. A classic show of perfection may look something like this:
Giving up after the first bump in the road
Going over a minor detail over and over again that all your energy is spent up and unable to move on to the next task
And worst of all, not starting something until conditions are perfect (which they of course never are)
In all western, modern societies, we have an overwhelming amount of choice compared to any other time in history. Why this can be a good thing as it provides with the freedom to design our lives the way we want, our brains are not actually designed to deal with such an abundance of choice and can cause paralysis. Barry Schwartz explains this in his book “The Paradox of Choice” He says that adding options to peoples lives, can’t help but increase expectations people have about how good those options will be which will produce less satisfaction with results even when they are good. This was revolutionary for me. This means that when we become dissatisfied with an option we have made, we feel responsible because we had so many choices. We blame ourselves and for the perfectionist, this is a straight road to depression. I saw myself in this conundrum instantly. I had become so obsessed with making the perfect choices in life that I wasted energy on tiny details and in turn filled with guilt if it didnt goes as expected.
Now, I realize now how messed up this sounds but I want to share this because it has been the darkest days of my perfectionism but also where I gained the most insight and motivation to let it go.
Fear of the unknown: Procrastination
Two years ago, I made the realization that I was a perfectionist but it has not been an easy thing to fully let go of. Why on earth would something so malicious be hard to run far away from? If these thought patterns were a real person, no one in their right mind would keep them around. Well, the answer to that lies in the truth under the mask that procrastination wears: FEAR. I believe we listen and entertain the patterns of perfection because they act like they are keeping us safe. It can feel safer to be unseen than possibly ridiculed and confirm the ugly thoughts perfectionism whisper. The insecurity is like candy for perfectionist patterns. By reinforcing the fear, perfectionism leads to procrastination. This was where I began to learn the true motives of my procrastination and moved on. Jodi Picoult says it best: You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.”
Living perfectly imperfect. Freeing myself and how you can too
As you can see, perfectionism had quite the hold on me and my dreams. This is why I’m so excited about this blog. A project that has lived in my head for way too long. Rather than striving to make it perfect, I simply want it out there. I trust that we can only improve with time but we can learn faster if we give ourselves the opportunity to fail. More importantly, I have learned not to take it all so seriously. I appreciate that the topics I like to discuss, my writing style, my laugh, the way I show up in the world won’t be for everyone and that is completely okay. As I said in the introduction, it’s perfect. Pleasing everyone is impossible and perfect is a waste of ambition. It’s actually quite boring. I’m sure most would agree that flaws and oddities in life are much more interesting so let’s talk about how I got here and how you can too.
Rebel
Adopting a “don’t give an f*&%” attitude was the first thing that helped me. When the thoughts of fear entered, I let them flow past me. Finding bliss in the moments where I would shut the door on fear was enchanting and the more I did it, the more I craved it. Moving across the country without a plan, listening to the inner call to go travelling alone, quitting the job I didnt like and even going on the tinder date despite the awkwardness are the moments that have turned into the biggest adventures in my life.
Start before you are ready, ask questions, get curious and keep going. This is where our power is and often the first step towards our dreams
Meditate
I don’t need to explain the power of mediation. There have been enough books, articles and scientific proof of it’s benefits to our lives .
While I cannot (yet) claim I meditate daily, learning to be present through meditation and doing things simply for the mind-boggling joy it brings, is fiercely powerful against perfectionism. Living in the moment allows us to appreciate all the quirks and beauty being human offers us.
Accept and Detach
Getting real about the lie that my perfectionism and hyper-criticism were motivators and the reason for my successes were instrumental in my journey to recovery. By accepting and detaching from the outcome of a project, perfect no longer became the goal. I began doing things for the joy that they brought me and nothing more.
I’ll admit, this one was not always easy but it’s quite marvelous what we can discover when we change our perpectives
Notice and Grow
Resistance. Control. Perfection. Call it what you want. These feelings live inside all of us at some point. In fact, I believe that it is right before we are about to embark on a possibly life-altering path that we feel called to that these little demons creep in and get louder and louder. As you begin to implement these anti-perfectionisms into your life, I guarantee your happiness will increase. I challenge you to simply notice the moments where perfectionism gets ahold of you and step away. In the beginning, I would physically move. Get a drink of water, change the song on the radio, dance, anything to release the negative thoughts. As you continue to do this, it will get easier. Or so I’m told. They will become whispers and ultimately mute when you start noticing that you are much more successful and living your dreams when you let go of the idea of perfect.
Embrace the quirky and weird parts of yourself, reduce expectations and begin before you feel ready. Dive in enjoy the journey rather than anticipating the goal, Change your perspective and accept that you will learn along the way. We all are. Perfectly Imperfect.
